Puppies

 What do you call a puppy with a fever?

A hot dog.

Sewers

 Why do sewers make terrible runners?

They always have a stitch in their side.

Weather/Climate

 What's the difference between weather and climate?

You can't weather a tree, but you can climate.

Days of the Week

 What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak-days.

Airplanes

 Why do airplanes make bad spouses?

They're always ready to take off.

Bogs

 What's a bog's favorite sweet treat?

Marsh-mallows.

Mike Tyson

 What is Mike Tyson's favorite bowl?

The punch bowl.

Roman Numerals

 How do you add one to ten to get nine?

Roman numerals, IX.

Hotels

 What do you call a hotel with really bad customer service?

A hostile.

Puppies in Trouble

 What does one dog do when they see another pup in trouble?

They lend a helping paw!

Sickly Elevator

 What did the sickly elevator say?

I think I'm coming down with something!

Cashier and Botanist

 What did the cashier ask the herbalist at the checkout?

Bot-any plants lately?

Ocean Too Hot

 Why was the ocean too hot to swim in?

It had a heat wave.

Dorothy and Toto

 If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?

The rains down in Africa!

Cows and Math

 How does a cow do math?

With a cow-culator.

Celebrity Center of Plum

 What celebrity is at the center of a plum?

Brad Pitt.

No Body/No Nose

 What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows!

Fly Without Wings

 What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.