A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business…
“Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door, you realize she’s given you two $100 bills. Now, here’s where the ethics come in: should you or should you not tell your partner?
David had been extremely anxious for years. It got to the point where his compulsive worrying was ruining his life, so he went to a psychiatrist, who recommended that David hire a professional worrier.
After he’d been working with the specialist for a few months, David’s friend John noticed a change. “What happened?” John asked. “You don’t worry about anything anymore.”
“I hired a professional worrier!” David answered.
“That must cost a fortune,” John said.
“Yes, he charges $3,000 a month,” David said sheepishly.
“Three thousand dollars! How can you ever afford to pay him?” John exclaimed.
“I don’t know,” David said. “That’s his problem.”
There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.
Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.
He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying,
“Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine, and Taxidermy — Either way, you get your dog back!”
On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing.
As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, “Happy New Year, everybody.” and the waiter says, “We are in June, you drunk man.”
And the drunk man says, “Oh my god, my wife is going to kill me, I have never been so late in my life!”
