Sunday, June 12, 2022

Shack it to Me...in Heaven...

 

A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold. They passed mansion after mansion until they came to the very end of the street. Saint Peter stopped the rich man in front of a little shack.“

This belongs to you,” said Saint Peter.

“Why do I get this ugly thing when there are so many mansions I could live in?” the man demanded.

“We did the best we could with the money you sent us!” Saint Peter replied.

Where to Park the Car...

 

Michael and his wife live in Minnesota. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say: “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” Michael’s wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later, while having breakfast, they hear the radio announcer saying again : “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through.” So, Michael’s wife goes out and moves her car as requested.

The next week they were having breakfast again, when the radio announcer said: “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park……”, but then the electric power went out.

Michael’s wife got very upset and, with a worried look on her face, she asked: “Honey, what am I going to do? Which side of the street should I park now, so the plow can get through?”

With understanding in his voice,  Michael said: “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time.”

Two Hikers...

 

Two hikers were walking through the woods when they suddenly confronted a giant bear. Immediately, one of the men took off his boots, pulled out a pair of track shoes, and began putting them on.

“What are you doing?” cried his companion. “We can’t outrun that bear, even with jogging shoes.”

“Who cares about the bear?” the first hiker replied. “All I have to worry about is outrunning you.”